The Financial Debunker

Published 04.03.2022

 

 

CURSING KEEPS THE SANITY INTACT

(Perhaps next time)

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MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL, WHO IS THE MOST EVIL AMONG ALL?

(Perhaps next time)

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CHINESE VERSUS CAUCASIAN WOMEN

(Let's just skip to point 8)

 

Let's discus teenagers of Chinese descent in general. I will just highlight a few examples to demonstrate the severity of this subject. Bear in mind that the rules do not apply to all.

 

8) To start with, I have a sweet looking plain attitude cousin who made a guy committing suicide mainly because from what I was being told, she could be sometimes indecisive and lack of courage to say a NO for a start. Guy took friendship the wrong way base on her conflicting signals. To add matter worse, in order to show her the cruel side of living in countryside with her other boyfriend (who is quite rich with a happy family who adores her. The countryside is not a jungle without electricity. Let's just say a contrast between London versus some outskirt in Yorkshire.), the mother pretentiously agreed to the courtship owing to her confident prediction that her daughter will bail out from the relationship in search of another multimillionaire suitor residing overseas which match their status much better. So after years of being a couple and the relationship is not deteriorating but strengthening, the mother knew she made the wrong gamble. After scores of maneuvers to break the couple, the mother knew that there was no turning back unless she gave a sudden U turn (and ultimatum). The daughter was devastated and distraught. She turned from one who cause other guys to commit suicide to one with suicidal tendency instead. Luckily, things didn't go from bad to worse but since she is expiring culturally (please read on Chinese Leftover women in order to gauge the issue), the mother had to settle with worse option just to put more make up on her face before another of her daughter's love related psychotic meltdown will become the talk of her circle once again. So the half-cooked wedding needs to proceed - all in the name of covering up the shameful bits that will ruin the family's stature.

 

 

...Poor guy, he is basically a substitute for the loving boyfriend (married to someone else.) she will never get and the son-in-law that is ill suited but a substitute necessary to cover the familial embarrassment. Wonder if he knew the exact story....

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9) Perhaps if the list isn't going to convince any of you - the super agent Sharon Tan is a fairly good example of how complex love and relationships can be in the Sino-verse. Obviously, her case is an exception for it falls at the end of the spectrum.

10) How about Suzanne? She pretty much falls into the category as well but with a maturity level that enables her to make correct decisions and communication effectively. Play safe in many ways with her strong belief as solid as an unperturbed mountain. Extremely paranoid when it comes to the safety, security and health of her family members. Lots of boundaries in the beginning. She easily got scared entering into a commitment (of having a baby) for the first few years. There is the list of advances initiated by men which she turned them down out of the fear of taking it to the next level. She told me I was an exception. Honestly I don't know if it was true yet she insisted it was true from our hundreds over quarrel. I think it all came down because I was playing a slightly different hand at the beginning - I wasn't sweet to her at all. She was worth the time as she became proficient in English language solely just by watching Friends and other American series. That particular fact alone gave me strong conviction that I was making the advances on the right one. I was taught through English medium about 70% of my life and I had lower TOEFL and SAT scores than hers. It would be unfair for me to categorize her as special but definitely she doesn't fall into the category of normal.

11) With all that said, I might have my own prejudices but Chinese (applied to Koreans and Japanese as well) born after the 1980s do suffer a higher dosage of issues in comparison to the other races. It may be a stigma among themselves amplified by their identity crisis (to catch up with Western standards and Western appeals), the unstoppable crave for success (with blurry lines in between) or simply the pursuit of a materialistic lifestyle for a higher status in the society.

 

 

...Let's just take a look at Singapore and all the nations with Chinese (Sino-verse) as a majority, they all have one thing in common - low birth rates and wedding rates. They are a race that have strong insecure competitive feeling among themselves. They are a threat to their own existence and that is the reason for them in preventing themselves to pro-create NATURALLY. This applies to me and my wife obviously....

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Daunted by Chinese women and their puzzling behavior gave a tremendous relief when dealing with Caucasian women. Caucasian women are very straightforward. They know what they want. They may cross the line but it can be absolutely fine for such behavior is imbued in their culture. If they like you, they show it to you (even kissing you out of random in the pub, asking for your hand to dance, kiss you for goodbyes after meeting just for two days in a conference. If you get to them closer, she might even invite you to their room. It is completely unrelated to sex.). If they don't like you, they will tell you right at your face (an example is when they tell you that they have a boyfriend which implies that the flirting should stop.). The only down side is they are probably less likely to end up with a control freak.

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...All this comes from experience that matches with statistics. Honestly I never come across a single discomforting situation with a white woman (not Chinese born in the UK. This category can be the worst of all. Though not necessary applies to all. I was once a victim of an ugly housemate who failed in her pursuit to date Western men. She saw me as an opportunity to turn me like one of them, turning random conversations into self building advice to be like them. She is an ugly demon which puts so much effort to fit in even more than the Caucasian girls who are just cool with everything I did. When you see the distraught on her face knowingly that Prince William was engaged, it was the disgust of the highest level for an ogre like her to even harbor such an embarrassing thought. Not to mention the delusions that seeps into her veins were extremely befuddling.) from my seven years living in the UK whereas the odds of meeting a Chinese women who might have problems with me on the long run can be a mere 10 to 15% on an unlucky day....

 

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I HATE THE UK FROM DAY ONE

 

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Imagine your perception of life that has been ruined for you. The cruel negative judgement pass upon you, the betrayal, the insecurity for leaving a mother behind to a rich manipulative family who calculates on every instances. All of these conditions can be a very unsettling issue for a teenager like me. Amplified by the hormonal spike due to puberty lead me in search of a girlfriend. Generally adding more pressure to life especially when the culture itself is very scrutinizing to it's core. So my departure to study in the UK is more of a horror film than one that sees sunshine.

 

 

...People who is studying overseas generally have friends, I don't. The reason is solely my fault because I do a U turn from deciding to study in the US to studying in the UK. So all the classes taught for credit transfer to an American University was thrown away - took A levels as private candidate instead in British Council Singapore. Once you leave the program, so you leave your friends behind. The decision was justified as it was more cost-saving. American universities are over-commercialized even twenty years ago. Imagine paying the application fees of 10 to 25 USD just for each university alone relatively to the UCAS system that requires you to pay a minimal fees of 10 GBP for 6 universities....

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Flying for 13 hours straight was a nightmare followed by the rude,  straightforward and inconsiderate immigration officers asking for a ten thousand pounds cheque as a proof for tuition fees. I was panicking at first despite the cheque was with me all along as that was the first time in my life I was introduced to British accent. Following a crowded airport and lack of knowledge, the journey from the airport to the university requires another bus ride with an additional 3 hours to kick in. The first day itself was so tiring that I literally fell on the bed asleep after reaching the room in my hall. It was the first time in my whole life that I skipped dinner.

 

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...Bottom line, I hated the UK on day one. With no friends and family separated by Suzanne miles away - I had the beginning of the most horrifying chapter in my life.

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Until Ellie comes in....

 

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CAREFUL WHISPER

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Ellie isn't her full name. I would refrain from writing down her full name. Ellie had the complete reverse dietary options from me. She is a vegetarian or vegan. I eat anything that has four legs except chair. Whichever it is, it doesn't matter. It was a chapter I have preferred to have it closed. The thing is, it doesn't do me justice because Suzanne always thought I had some sort of affair with her. That doesn't happen although probably it was intended to be but not for my lack of love for Suzanne but only as an insurance in the event if a breakup would occur out of the blue. Under my boundless imagination, I was assuming she was preparing the same preemptive strike on our relationship.

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My relationship with Suzanne was exceptionally strenuous even after we got married couple of years later. The relationship with Suzanne was intense. Suzanne said it was me but she herself suggested that it takes two to tango which implies that she is also complicit for the events which transpired in the past. Obviously, things went better after a few years being with Suzanne but our courtship was full of drama.

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Ellie is the second victim of my deep insecurity complex. The first being Suzanne. She is a victim I created under the duress of my strained relationship with Suzanne. The unintended infatuation turned friendship that happens naturally due to the availability of more options when long distant relationship was part of the equation. Due to our friendship, Ellie can be happy to entertain me whenever I was depressed, horny, funny and drunk despite she is a victim to my attempted advances (which she brushed it off and I complied). A substitute to listen to my problems when Suzanne wasn't around or when we quarrel on the phone horribly (up to the point of disturbing her as she lived upstairs right on top of me). Seriously pondering over it now, I believe I spend a great amount of my time talking to Suzanne (now wife) and Ellie than studying for my courses.

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Out of the huge hall of 200 students, her room was exactly on top of mine. On the second day arriving to the UK, this pretty curly brunette in plain and simple demeanor (with fashion issues. A point she once raised and I dismissed.) came knocking at my door out of nowhere. This may be some of her similarity with Suzanne in terms of their lack of taste in fashion. Confused I let her in. She is slender while Suzanne is curvy. I thought she was the warden or the hall representative only to find out that she noticed me since yesterday and had some idea where is my room base on the male female compartmentalization sections.

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Honestly up to this day, I have no idea why she came knocking on my room and how she manage to spot my room. I wasn't the sly, calculative, cold and wicked man I am today 18 years ago. I was just a naive teenage boy with anger management issue borne out of the worries about my familial finances issue and the commitment to a long distant relationship marred by deep insecurities. Ellie's presence is like a sunshine which brings forth warmth, joy and comfort on my second day to the UK. We had a long conversation even on the first day.

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Cutting it short, it was puzzling why I didn't just grab her that day since she unbutton (smiling seductively - maybe I must have misinterpreted her intention but the smiling part is the part which is a bit hard to cross out.) two of her buttons while we were just sitting one meter apart. The unexpected chemistry had been there even on the first day itself. The anticlimactic part was when I asked "Are you OK? The buttons." (I am just terrible in taking advantages.).

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Obviously I regretted the decision to question her, so I called her after half an hour only to be faced with a life and death question "Do you have a girlfriend?". (This is the largest culture shock I have ever faced in my life. Suzanne was an onion, I had to peel her layer by layer. Malaysian Chinese college girls are pretty open but I never spend  time dating any of them, I just had a tendency of flirting to get their number for collection sake and making sure life would be a lot easier if I skip some of the classes. They are a great source for additional materials. Never call them back and finds them to be too complicated for anything more to be pursued further.) I froze and when pressed further, I said YES.

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But that wasn't the end of it, we were close. Quite close. I knew many of her stories. Sometimes I thought I was her substitute because she used to fell for a Chinese  named Dong and she used to be called Ding. Ding Dong. Yet, despite the other Chinese are present, it seems I am the closest Chinese who got along with her. Going out of the hall together with her can sometimes be a little uneasy as Chinese men usually don't hang out at such close proximity with Caucasian women.

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Our friendship had the ups and downs owing mostly to my mood swings and our uneasiness to be viewed as a couple. Despite attempts of making inappropriate advances on her then being brushed off, there was once when she nearly accepted it. We were watching TV together in her room (not drunk) and one of my hand was inside her shirt. I pushed upwards only for her to look into my eyes. 

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So after spending around eight months wondering how she tasted like, my conscience told me to back off after the one minute eye locking session. I left her room in an awkward turn of event though I should have just press forward since the worse to come might just be a slap on the face (which she wouldn't do it base on her track record). One thing I learned about women is that one should be in a light hearted atmosphere to make the right advances. Yet it is a lesson I failed to apply it appropriately on my spouse as the intensity was on different level.

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I send her away as the bus departed for London. I asked her if she was ready for the next level only to be replied with an "I don't know". The stint holiday gave us time to re-think our options by ensuring we take our dances carefully on the exact meaning of the next level and "I don't know". She told me she was coming back to the university after holiday and my last message wasn't replied back. I went in search of her in her room, only to find another friend of hers/mine present with the door open. She tried to make up to me sincerely but I misread her and thought that was a distancing sign. Few hours later, I got the notification that the message was delivered and a delayed message from her. I didn't pursue it further. Neither did I apologize towards her nor she made an attempt to call. We were both the collateral damage of an affinity that shouldn't have taken place. That incident confirms the pull out that should have happened sooner than the unexpected dragging which nearly wrecked everything apart.

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I took a year off and got married. Two years later, I met her with her Spanish boyfriend in town in a very awkward setting - only to be questioned if I am her Ex which both of us quickly declined. Ellie and I never even exchanged our new numbers anymore. 

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A year later, I met Ellie once again downtown grabbing the same bus. I told her I got a spot to further my postgraduate studies while she decided to travel to Spain and Portugal. We were cold towards one another like strangers having small conversations.

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It is a sad thing how such naturally occurred infatuation on day one manifesting into a rare friendship with strong affinity can easily dissipates into oblivion due to the inability to make the correct decisions in order to keep up with the complicated relationships of the period.

 

 

...While I did not resort to any careless whisper but a careful one, it is still a whisper nonetheless. Suzanne picked up fragments of our friendship and had the fixed impression that it was a long distant escapade affair before our commitment to a permanent relationship. It was never an affair but an aftermath of an insecure brat setting up complex psychological atmosphere for both women in order to ensure the survivability of his egoistical inclinations  without taking into account the emotional damage that can be inflicted upon both of them. The pull out was too late and an apology should have been made than playing a victim to the whole scenario or making attempts to keep the impossible "possible".

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The pertaining question is if a repeat of such dilemma ever happens again, will there be a miraculous situation for an initially designed insurance to be compromised for sustainable relationships to coexist?...